Why Granite Roots?

It all started back in 2005. I was slowly beginning to settle after a time of mid life crisis and decided to take a holiday on my own to Amsterdam. I had already had a short break there and seen some of the sites so on this occasion I was just there to relax and enjoy the experience without any plan. It turned out to be far more significant than I could have imagined, thankfully I wrote a journal for those few days I was there ….

Wander off again and end up at the Homomonument. For some reason I have not noticed the flowers before. I ask at the kiosk and a nice looking lad tells me that people leave them as memorials. He says he himself lays flowers in memory of his ancestors. I decide to sit on the canal side bit of the monument in the sunshine – just think a while then read. The something happens – I don’t know how or why, I am just looking at the flowers. Then I begin to think about the granite of the memorial, Pink Granite the same as Jersey – musing about some deeper significance in all this. Then all of a sudden I am crying ~ not becasue I am sad just that somehow this place just seems to resonate with some real vibes or significance. I suddenly feel like I belong as a gay man

AMSTERDAM ~ 25/09/05 ~ SUNDAY

I’m still overwhelmed by my emotions when along comes this hippyish looking bloke on a bike who starts tidying the flowers and then stops to pray. He notices me crying then comes across and sits down beside me and starts talking. He tells me he has developed full blown AIDS. We speak about the pain of being gay – friendship and God then we end up holding hands and hugging each other just sharing this moment while the tourist boats pass by. Its the first time I have felt some pride in being gay. After he leaves I go back to my wandering, yet now there is somehow at once a deep feeling that this has been a pivotal moment I don’t know how or why . I am so glad it happened though.

A week later ….

I think back to my ‘homo~moment’. I get quite poetic thinking about the granite. The pink granite of Jersey ~ natural ~ from whence I spang contrasting with that of the Homomonement which is polished and shaped but inside the real quality has not chnaged. I know granite to be very durable, yet composed of many different minerals. I hope my life will show that complexity and strength – shaped by circumstances but retaining its real nature.

NEWCASTLE ~ 08/10/05 ~ SUNDAY