I don’t know why but one of the first things I did when I rediscovered faith at the bedside of my dying friend was to turn to the Church of England prayer book. In the first instance the Daily Prayer App . Perhaps it was because this was what I had grown up with, not the App of course, first the book of Common Prayer then the Alternative Service Book 1980, but even then this had been something reserved for a Sunday. I had led Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer and even Compline in Holy Week at my Parish Church of St Lawrence in Jersey.
I dipped in and out, not saying it every day. I rejoiced in the fact I could pray without having to think whether I was good enough or had the right words. Even with modern words and forms it has a timeless quality for me. I remember very early on, the day I made my ‘first’ pilgrimage to the Shrine of St Cuthbert, walking from home to Durham Cathedral. I had read Morning Prayer and these words were so powerful I wrote them down.
In your unfailing love, O Lord,
you lead the people whom you have redeemed.
And by Your invincible strength
You will guide them to Your holy dwelling.
You will bring them in and plant them, O Lord,
In the sanctuary which Your hands have established
Those words sustained me on what was then the longest walk I had done for many many years.
I continued to say or listen to Morning Prayer on an occasional basis then while I was staying on Holy Island in August of 2022 I took the opportunity to go to Morning Prayer in the church each day. It settled my soul and enabled me to take the next step on my new faith journey which was to start going to church.
Morning Prayer has only really become part of my daily routine this year (2023), it had taken several months to develop the habit – I make a point of not making resolutions I don’t keep. But now it’s something I really miss on the occasions It doesn’t happen. It calms and encourages me, being an essential part of each day when I walked the Camino de Santiago and my Walk of Witness. Though I must admit lessons from Morning Prayer are not always remembered in the stress of the day.
What’s prompted this reflection is my experience this week. I had attended a couple of early morning services Morning Prayer at church and last Monday made the effort to get out of bed and walk along the road. These services were just to me sharing my regular Morning Prayer with others, I never thought of them as official church services. So this time I was asked to lead, no big deal even if I was still a bit nervous. It was after we finished and I was asked to sign the book in the vestry as I had led Morning Prayer. This still gets to me days later. I realised that somehow this was not just me saying Morning Prayer in a different place, I was part of the church, it was bigger than just me. It must have been fifty years or so since I had last led an Anglican Service, who would have thought – certainly not me. Where God will lead me next only He knows!